Something jared my memory today about a dream that I had many years ago. It was a dream that stayed with me for a long time and I am a bit surprised to have it return to me at this time in my life. Is it because I have started writing? I have discovered that writing is a powerful tool for clarifying life’s experiences and it is healing in so many ways. So it is very puzzling to me that dreams are starting to come back to me after many years of silence.
I am standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon contemplating whether I will be able to jump across safely to the other side. Of course in dreams one can do the impossible, but I did try to determine whether it was a good idea to leap before I made the attempt. After some hesitation, I decided to jump….
When I made the effort to leap across the Grand Canyon I had indeed miscalculated and knew that I would fall short of my goal. When I realized my mistake and as I tumbled and fell toward the bottom, I went through a series of emotions that are similar to that of accepting one’s death. There are stages that you go through. Denial, anger, bargaining and acceptance. As I fell, I remember looking at the layers of time imbedded in the sandstone and rock formations of the cliff and marveled at how old the earth was. I felt anger and a sense of denial that this couldn’t be happening to me and tried to figure a way out of my predicament. Right before my body slammed into the ground I accepted my death as inevitable and a sense of peace and calm came over me. Right as I hit, I opened my eyes while laying in bed and I looked at myself looking up at me falling from above. I noticed the wallpaper pattern in my bedroom of pale white and blue flowers zooming downwards and watched myself falling into me. When my body connected with the body falling from the sky, I lurched from the impact and it forced me up into a sitting position. I looked around in shock at what I had experienced and understood that I had returned from traveling outside my body. It was so real and powerful that I can see it clearly after 25 years. I haven’t thought about this dream in years, yet it feels like yesterday that I dreamed it and I am appreciative that I recalled it. I have other dreams that I am remembering once again and will start to write them down. It is an interesting time to be recalling these dreams. I have gone so long not remembering any of them and they are starting to flood my consciousness. Life is such a journey….